.png)
It is widely accepted as fact that the human species thrives on social connection. Most researchers, scientists, and psychologists will go as far as to say that humans are hard-wired for connection, meaning that we are biologically conditioned to have regulated nervous systems during moments of human-to-human connection. Social connection is so valuable in the clinical arena that it contributes to whether or not a series of symptoms is labeled as a mental health disorder. Any individual seeking therapy or treatment for an emotional issue is likely to be asked about their social interactions and important relationships. It is impossible to see the entire clinical picture without an understanding of the individual’s social functioning, and without a healthy level of connection, emotional and behavioral wellbeing are likely to further deteriorate.
Evidence that supports the importance of social connection is all around us. We begin connecting at birth through physical contact and hearing our caregiver’s voice for the first time. Eye contact and a handshake are considered customary when meeting a new person or sealing an important business deal. Friends gathering for a meal is a common sight inside any restaurant or coffee shop. And more recently, we’ve all experienced the effects of social isolation while learning to communicate with one another from behind a mask. While observing human behavior can provide an important glimpse into the need for social engagement, neuroscience findings offer an irrefutable explanation of what occurs inside the brain when we feel connected and further proves that genuine nervous-system-to-nervous-system connection is a gateway to emotional healing.
In her book, The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, leading Polyvagal theorist and clinician, Deb Dana, discusses the importance of the social engagement system and how it is used to restore a sense of safety and regulation in the autonomic nervous system. Essentially, the social engagement system is made up of all the intricate details of our face, including the ability to make eye contact, smile, furrow our brow, and verbally communicate. The social engagement system also includes other non-verbal cues that signify a change in mood or level of attentiveness, such as head nodding or hand gestures. A simple smile, head nod, or pat on the back can be enough to kickstart the social engagement system and allow an individual to return to a state of safety and ease.
Stephen Porges, the creator of the Polyvagal Theory, has extensively researched the autonomic nervous system and its reactions to social engagement cues. As his evidence shows, the autonomic nervous system operates two distinct branches; the sympathetic and parasympathetic. When we experience a state of nervous system arousal, or what’s better known as fight-or-flight, the sympathetic branch is in command and we may find it especially difficult to control our reactions, let alone connect with others. Conversely, we find the vagus nerve along the parasympathetic branch which according to Deb Dana, is responsible for two “distinct physiological states”, each controlled by separate neural pathways called the ventral vagal and dorsal vagal pathways. The dorsal vagal pathway responds to cues of compromised safety or life-threat, sending us into a state of complete physiological shutdown or “freeze” as it’s commonly called. In this state, the only option is total immobilization, and of course, complete and utter disconnection. To the contrary, neuroimaging findings demonstrate that when we do feel connected with others, the ventral vagal pathway is activated, allowing us to feel a sense of calm and safety. In short, when we experience a state of fear, immobilization, safety, or calm, it’s not merely situational, it’s physiological.
The work of Stephen Porges and Deb Dana is immensely important for several reasons. Not only does it provide scientific evidence for the gravity of human connection, but it also lends a sense of explanation to the suffering associated with unresolved trauma, addiction, or emotional dysregulation. While the aforementioned conditions may seem entirely different, what they have in common is a sense of uncontrollable reactions, confusion, shame, and unstable relationships, mainly due to a lack of true human-to-human connection. Many individuals recovering from addiction find solace in group settings such as those found in treatment centers or 12-step meetings. Group therapy is considered to be one of the most valuable tools for treating substance use disorders due to the loss of connection that most individuals experience in active addiction. Trauma survivors often withdraw from family and friends due to feelings of shame, guilt, or lack of safety and may find themselves in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. Individuals suffering from mood disorders, such as depression or bipolar disorder, may struggle to find the energy to connect with others or feel they are pushing loved ones away due to their erratic or confusing behaviors.
It is important to point out that we can be surrounded by people while still feeling disconnected. If the social engagement system is turned off, there is little we can do to experience nervous-system-to-nervous-system connection. Many evidence-based therapies focus on the development of emotion regulation techniques, behavioral activation, and cognitive reframing. These therapies can be enormously life-changing and teach us valuable skills for managing emotional discomfort or having healthier relationships. These therapies, however, cannot be as effective as we need them to be until the social engagement system is turned on and we are operating along our ventral vagal pathway. As Deb Dana puts it, “we can change our dominant life story only from a place of ventral vagal.”
Although much of human suffering is rooted in social disconnection, the same is true for emotional and behavioral healing. While social connection may not be a magic pill for treating addiction, trauma, or a vast array of emotional issues, it is necessary for regulating the nervous system and gaining freedom from survival reactions. Human connection can feel terrifying to a trauma survivor and may not be attainable until a sense of connection to nature, a beloved pet, or a hobby is initiated. Once small steps are taken toward nervous system regulation, bigger steps can be more easily endured, and human connection can start feeling safer. Thanks to Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, we now know that the magic of human-to-human connection lies in the nervous system and that connection is synonymous with safety.
Comments